Spurs are prolific but let in too many goals, Manchester United are yet to sparkle, Arsenal live on their nerves and Chelsea have turned neurotic, but all have reasons to be cheerful
London's Seven Sisters Road connects two versions of one romantic urge. Tottenham Hotspur love to attack and refuse to defend beyond the minimum. Arsenal also exist to advance, but would like to defend if they could only work out how. Throw Manchester United and Chelsea into that mix and English clubs have seldom advanced to the Champions League knockout stage in such varied condition.
With Barcelona idols filling all three spots on Fifa's shortlist for world player of the year there is a temptation to think the Premier League's four contenders are auditioning for the victim role in next May's final at Wembley – especially as Barça have just rewritten the rules with their 5-0 win over Real Madrid. Until then no side had stopped José Mourinho doing what he does best, which is stopping the opposition, if you can unravel the double negative.
But the English quartet are not fatalistic. Sure, the academy that brought us Lionel Messi, Xavi and Andrés Iniesta rolled out another litter of pups with the 2-0 victory over Rubin Kazan on Tuesday night. Manchester United, though, remain undaunted by their defeat against Pep Guardiola's side in the 2009 final in Rome. In fact, Sir Alex Ferguson is desperate for another go.
Arsène Wenger, meanwhile, must be pulling our legs when he cites Nicklas Bendtner's early quarter-final, second-leg goal in Barcelona last term as a reason not to fear the world's finest club XI. He neglects to mention the four Messi struck in reply.
With defeats at Braga and Shakhtar Donetsk in Group H, the Gunners have lumbered themselves with a last-16 knockout tie against Barcelona, Real Madrid, Bayern Munich or Schalke, which is in line with the new Arsenal ethos of doing it the hard way. The impregnability of the Invincibles – who went all 38 league games unbeaten in 2003-04 – is a museum memory as goalkeepers flap at crosses and centre-half pairings rotate while the four Arsenal defenders function less like a United Kingdom than Northern Ireland, Scotland, England and Wales.
This is not to dismiss their chance of becoming London's first European champions. Their spirit remains infectious. But unless Don Howe and George Graham step out of time's mist to re-educate the back five, Arsenal must invest their hopes in outscoring the opposition, as Spurs have.
For Harry Redknapp the "open" tactical approach throws up self-effacing comedy. After the 3-3 draw at Twente, Redknapp, on television, laughed his way through a question about how many goals Spurs might concede on the average foreign jaunt. Outscoring Bayern, Barcelona or Mourinho's Real Madrid will seem a casino dream by spring, but in Tottenham's play we see mass improvement, and mass enjoyment, which creates its own dynamic.
In Europe, Spurs are like a small boy who releases a balloon and expects it to pop as it rises past the chimney. His face is scored by wonder as the dot recedes towards the furthest hills. Look: it's still going. This weekend, they all come inside to face each other: Tottenham at Chelsea on Sunday and Arsenal at Manchester United on Monday night.
These fixtures will tell us more about the domestic hierarchy and offer clues about which of the quartet will cope best with European demands when the campaign enters its tougher second half. The range of states is unusually diverse. United are like an old Rolls-Royce with an unreliable starter motor and Chelsea are again displaying their vulnerability to internal politics; as well as their dependence on Frank Lampard, John Terry and Michael Essien, which is even deeper than we thought.
In last season's knockout phase Arsenal were 6-2 aggregate winners over Porto and were then wiped out by Barcelona. Chelsea lost home and away to Internazionale, now in decline, in the second round. United marmalised Milan 7-2 on aggregate but then crashed out on away goals to Bayern, where Wayne Rooney was snuffed for the next eight months. Are any of those three English sides stronger now than they were back then? No. Spurs are, but they all require settled defensive structures from January to May, and United will need Rooney to stay on his path back to effectiveness.
With all this fluidity – political, defensive and star-related – the knockout phase, which is set against Barcelona's majesty, is the most tantalising in recent memory. Spurs scored 18 times in six group games and conceded 11. United are still unbeaten in 15 Premier League games. Arsenal live on their nerves and Chelsea turn neurotic.
In the background you can hear Redknapp, almost singing: "We score goals, we let goals in. We score more goals, and we let more in," he says. Pure Chumbawamba: "I get knocked down, but I get up again, you're never going to keep me down." Not the worst battle hymn.
Source: Paul Hayward, The Guardian on 9 Dec 10
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